New Blog

So our lovelies, we are turning our attentions away from this blog, which will become a haven of good fashion and bargains :)

Please go to our sister blog XOXO You know you love us for more fashion fails :)

XOXO You know you've missed us!

Well my adoring fans, I know you've missed me - heck my loyal legions were even causing a bit of a riot for my return round by my fabulous new mansion chez de fashion darling! So other than keeping myself fabulous, what else have I been doing you ask? I know you're all dying to know! Well......

I'm engaged!!!! I plan to base my relationship on Liz Jones of the Daily Fail; her fashion posts inspire me greatly. My ring is 50 carat platinum setting and the stone is only found in Mordor (the moon, natch.) Far better than Frodo's you'll agree.

Josh was so disappointed/annoyed. So disappointed he turned to blue slush and accidently OD-ed on the S-Bahn to the Reeperbahn. However, he recoverd after learning he had not left me unmarked......

The father of James' baby is another mystery all together. Jeremy Kyle will sadly be acquiring our business shortly before Christmas. Could we get the wind for a DNA test?

But in all honesty, we spent some time down by the coast, practising our windswept look.

We also practised our S.Lancey/J.smithy/P.Middy poses - no bussle or wind needed. Purely a wall. And a flattering dress and shoes :)

We decided we should get arty and physical, both at the same time in some cases.

Cubby holes are the best place to stretch, dontcha know?

Zumba - the perfect way to perfect accentuate one's hips and stubby arms.

We even tried some sport. How does my customised cane look? The only balls I'll be getting close to for a while, that's for sure!

On the subject of accessories, check out my new bag (pun entirely intended)!

Sadly I can't fit my cats into it. However, it may make a fabulous hat. I am so creative!

I've heard so much recently about feminism. I've even learnt how to spell it and to give a vague definition. A very vague definition. Seeing as, there is no set definition anymore. I've just done the impossible - this is why I am such a good writer - in your face patriarchy! But in all honesty, who doesn't want to look good for a man? (Apart from lesbians, obviously).

See? Look good and the men will fall for you. Even the gay ones.

See? He fell for us. And landed in the other prime gay position :)

Well followers, I hope that has satisfied your aching desire to see me, I know that's what that burning feeling in your stomach is, it's pure adoration for yours truly (because I can use another way of saying me because I'm the next Steffy Myer baby)!



Keep your eyes peeled for more posts, I'm like cramps - I come once a month!




XOXO You know you (and your boyfriends) want me!

Reflection: 2. The Wohnheim

So I am back in England. Man do I want to go back to Germany. I have loved my time in Hamburg, and refuse to cheat you guys out of  more reflection posts. Decided to pass some judgement on the lovlies I met while living in the Wohnheim :)

Josh
Likes: tea, Lady GaGa, dancing like a loon, Vanilla Coke

Dislikes: waiting, Indian room mates, slow internet

Ahhhh Josh. Without Josh I may have gone insane. Utterly insane. We broke the cardinal rule - no living with English people, but we spoke a lot of German. Honest. Cheers for all the bitching and dealing with my crazy :)

Vivi

Likes: archaeology, Korea, Buffy, libraries, brown cheese

Dislikes: messy room mates, expensive things, smoke/smokers

Vivi, another lifesaver. After Abi left I was so panicked I would never find another girl I got on so well with, then Vivi appeared at the Christmas party and somehow, something major clicked. We've had many a session chatting over tea or coffee and for her friendship I am truly greatful.


Esther
Likes: sign language, coffee, alcohol, dancing, smoking while drunk
Dislikes: toads, messy room mates, certain people having girlfriends
Ahhhh Esther, another friend for life :) We spent many a night watching cheesy American TV shows, laughing at fail plot points. And then there was the brilliant Lange Nacht der Museen, which turned into a sehr Lange Nacht indeed after our stay at Barabend that night :P


Hannes
Likes: Urtyp, sleeping in random places, food, MEEEEE!
Dislikes: stupid people, fail organisation, being tickled

So I found me a German boyfriend. Finally some of you cry, FINALLY! His weirdness is epic, as is the well-known fact that he is generally the nicest guy in the Wohnheim (Copyright is that). Hugely considerate and would probably give you his last piece of food, a wonderful human being. Also one of the first people I've met that I've not gone "need to change you."


Isa
Likes: Greek things, dancing, smoking
Dislikes: not being able to drink and dance at Barabend

Isa, one of the many providers of alcohol at Barabend. Lovely and really welcoming, she helped both me and Josh to feel far more accepted in the Bar. Still remember her, Daniel and Andre's faces when Josh and me where singing "Das Geht Ab." It was the face of "Man, ihr konntet Deutsch." Always there for a girly chat whether on the bus or at the Bar :) Also official watcher of Hannes


Sophia
Likes: see Isa's likes
Dislikes: see Isa's dislikes
Sophia is just as brill as Isa. Super friendly and always up for a laugh, I loved our nights dancing away at Barabend. Currently the owner of Josh's hat, meaning a part of him lives on at Barabend :) Again always there if you need a girly chat about pretty much everything :)


Daniel
Likes: karoke, dancing (see above), cooking, kicker
Dislikes: people who won't do karoke
Ahh Daniel, the crazy guy found most often behind the bar being Daniel-ey. Forevering bugging me to sing karoke with him, feeling hugely upset on my final night meant I couldn't do it. With Hannes as co-chef, he is an amazing cook. Genuinely a lovely bloke, if maybe a bit scatterbrained.

Honestly, there were others at the Wohnheim who were brilliant. There was Eddy the Epic DJ who likes a good repeat; Mauro, the loveable Italian; Maxime, the Frenchmen who just needs to learn to say no and stop; Lucy, who gave us the Do-Me Dance (see Josh's photo); Jean-Florent, imagine stereotypical French accent, imagine this speaking German. Yes I kid you not; the Russians; Moritz, aka The Toad; Hans and many many more. If anyone important has been missed who should be here, please give me a shout :)

The Wohnheim itself was great. A massive building which was a former army barrack, was full of odd little rooms and passageways. My room was massive:

Epic photo wall was epic. Not quite as epic as this wall though:

I loved our flat with it's Die Aerzte lyrics around the whole flat. Sadly part are now missing due to the need for the kitchen to be painted over. Sadface. I spent many a night in our kitchen drinking tea, alcohol, midnight baking, ligretto and I also spent many a night watching Buffy in the rooms of Vivi and Esther. And many nights in general in Hannes and Josh's room.

Man I miss the Wohnheim :(

And if you wondered, all these pictures were taken in the Bar :)

The Start of the Reflection: 1. Room mates

So it's coming to the end of what has probably been one of the best years of my life, I feel it's time to start doing some reflecting. Let's start with housemates/roommates. I have had, wait for it, 26, yes TWENTY SIX roommates in eigth months. Without further ado, let me give you a run down of who they were and what they were like.

If you may remember my first WG here was awful. Dirty, with incredibly rude roommates which included:-

• Turkish Guy - hugely unpronouncable name, who we think was a drug dealer
• Jana - annoying laugh and refused to introduce herself to me
• Hobbit (I cannot for the life of me remember his name)
• Moritz - ultra friendly
• Melanie - seemed nice enough, but left soon after I moved in
• Finnish girl
• Björn - when we met at Barabend weeks after I left, he reminded me that we had lived together; I was amazed
• I possibly lived with Philip the druggie but I'm not sure
  
  So this was the actual state of this flat when I lived in it.....

So this is pretty much your standard Wohnheim hallway. We had the uniqueness of film posters pasted to the walls [they're gone now, I believe] and the usual bottles on shelves [deffo a worldwide student thing]. Now for those of you who are squweamish and ultra-clean, ignore the next two photos. Another big reason I left was cleanliness.

That disgusting mess was under our sink - I blame Turkish dude since he was always boiling eggs. The plates were nowhere near as bad as they were in this WG as when Josh moved in but yeh, bad enough.

So as you may have guessed I moved into Josh's flat not long after meeting him. We met through my Mum actually. I was lamenting the fact that I had no clue where the washing machines were when Nadine told me she met someone who lived in the same Wohnheim as me. Someone else living in the tiny nowhere town of Rahlstedt?! Wahnsinnig! I thought. So I told my Mum who forced me to friend Josh via fb [already kinda wanted to, I did the pre-YA facebook stalk as I'm sure most of us did. Saw he liked Rammstein and was interested in the same types of chap as me - instant friend really.] and ask him where they were. We met five minutes later and have never really looked back since. After Josh seeing how bad my flat was, realising my room mates had no clue what my name was and weird Spanish Guy No. 1 leaving his flat therefore leaving a spare room, he pushed me to ask to move. As did the rest of his flat. And so I did and the rest they say is history :) So without further ado, the room mates of 2,4

(from l - r)

• Andre aka Dresdener - We got on so well in the beginning, with such gems as "WC = Wasserklo" but then things just got too weird between us, a mixture of both our faults really
• Josh - do I seriously need to say anything about him? He's become like my best friend and brother this year. And no we are not a couple, nor as we related
• Yi-Wen aka Keksemonster - I love my friend from Taiwan. Incredibly sweet, but with a fiery temper, she brightened up my days with her washing of egg and attempts at German [Warum ist die Banane krum? was an epic Yi-Wen quote]
• Andi - Friendliest, quietest room mate I think I have ever had. Best moment was his microwave explosion
• Spanish Guy No. 2 - I met him once then he left
• Mike - weird Chinese room mate mark two, but far less psycho thankfully. Most famed for his dance and telling Andre to touch him if he got something wrong
  
  
  This is Mike dancing
• Katharina - started off really quiet but then opened up a lot. Loved Spongebob Squarepants
• Carole - I could never really warm to Carole, which is a shame as she seemed lovely
• Bonnie - Taiwanese opera singer who was tiny in both weight and height. Had an odd boyfriend and once stayed up til 5am talking to Yi-Wen. Both were shocked when me and Josh rolled in drunk
• Danny - possibly one of the weirdest housemates ever. Was nearly 30 and living in a Wohnheim. Worked as a chef/food control guy, only ever ate those horrible oven baguette pizzas. Stole our missile and walked around in long johns. Not a pleasant sight. Also not understandable
• Dennis - mega quiet, we barely uttered a word to one another. He ate a lot of sandwiches
• Krisitian aka Hungarian Wanker - eurgh, one of the worst room mates for obvious reasons
  

You may recognise this picture from someone else's blog.....

• Adam - the other Hungarian. Turns out he's quiet nice, even if he does seem to live in Speedos.....
• Isobel - mega friendly lovely from Bavaria. Could never make her mind up whether to speak German or English with us
• Pirmen - adorable, baby faced boy. Boy is how to describe him. Apparently his girlfriend looks like Pam, only more grannified....
• Indian Girls - not entirely sure what their names are but oh well. Leave notes everywhere and are fond of banging doors loudly
• Christian aka Wolverine - seriously he looks like a fat version of Wolverine. Talks way too much about having done Wehrdienst and being in the Luftwaffe. Way too much.
  
  
  Seriously, he would look like this if he put on the suit......
• And finally Anika - a late edition as I completely forgot about her. Kinda gothy, with a huge goth boyfriend. Speaking to people was not her forte.
  
  
  That is just a mega quick rundown of everyone I have lived with this year. Man that's a lot of crazy and a lot of weird. But also a lot of firm friends made from all over the world. Maybe later or tomorrow I will do a post of the people of the Wohnheim who have made an impact on me :)

Frohe Ostern//Happy Easter!!

Hello all! Finally time for an update. So what has happened since my last post? Well....shortly after my last post I had a huge row with my Dad, things still slightly shakey between the two of us. We'll have to see how Wednesday goes, will be the first time we've seen each other since Christmas and the fallout of lying about not leaving my Mum for some fat, Welsh bint. Eurgh, dreading it if I'm honest. Also meeting Kat then, which I am most looking forward to.

I flew back home last Thursday after one long semester. I know I had a two week break, but I didn't do too much or come home during it. I have to admit it is lovely to be back. Saw Sandie Friday and met her new beau, the first one she has ever introduced to me. He is lovely, but scarily I recognised him from serving at Forest. Haven't told her that yet, may freak her out slightly. He seemed lovely, very polite, and clearly besotted with her. He even gave me and my Mum a hug as we left. So far I have bought two pairs of ear-rings - one pair of big, chunky gold things and some cool Aztec-style gold monsters. I also had to buy some new trainers since Mum has packed all of mine away and I just needed something small to wear. I have also found something epic - Primani now sell Lip Smackers in the following flavours: Coca Cola, Vanilla Coke, Fanta and Sprite for a mere £1.50. I highly recommend as they are nommy and fizz slightly when you lick your lips. I'm also trying out Bare Minerals since I can't seem to find a powder foundation I like. It's a bit pricey, but meh, sometimes one needs to treat oneself. I also got some Harajuki perfume from John Lewis, 30ml for just £10. Both were nice and sweet and the bottle toppers were as always adorable. I apologise for the lack of pictures, I have no camera cable. It has magically disappeared. As you can see, I have spent much monies already :)

So what else am I up to? Well, tomorrow if my Dad asks, I'm at football. To those of you in the know and who I like, I'm travelling to Skegness to visit my Nana and Suzanne. It's just for the day but I'm looking forward to it. I also booked my Mum and Suzanne's flights over to Hamburg and they shall be over the day after myself, Josh and Vivi return from Stockholm. Ich freue mich mega drauf.

Things are going rather well with Baker, or Hannes as he shall now be known (only mega important people get their actual name put in here). We are now officially a couple and no, I have not figured out what we shall do once I come back here. And neither has he. It's refreshing to be with someone the total opposite to all my other exes. He has motivation, knowledge, bit of romance, can dance, isn't afraid to take me out, gets on with my friends (a big problem I have noticed, my exes haven't ever gotten on with you guys), wears jeans and cooks. (I realise some of you will go, hold on Tom has these qualities, but they had to be forced out)


Oh God, Mum has got me into Lewis.

In which men make my life worse

God this week has not been good for me and the opposite sex. First there was the huge argument with my Dad on Thursday, leading us to really not want to speak to one another at all. I say both of us, it's more me. He infuriates me. But that is not the point of this post. Last night, however, is.

So myself, Josh and Baker had a lovely day yesterday going around churches in Hamburg, then taking a boat over to Musuemshafen to the beach that was there. Then we went for food. All-in-all a lovely day. Back we come to the Wohnheim, and get ready for Barabend. Here is where everything goes slightly awry. Baker was in a really odd mood; barely speaking, almost disapprovingly looking at me and Josh. It really bothered me, moreso when Josh noticed it too. I eventually got it out of him that he was just feeling weird and didn't seem to want to stay for too long or even work the bar. However, he then snapped at Josh over a silly joke he made about our landlord (something to do with being made of beer since that's all we see him buy). We both were dumbstruck by how snappy he was. This is leading Josh and myself to believe that perhaps Baker is a tad jealous of how close we are. I have already seen his jealous side come out after an incident with the Russian a few weeks ago so it is highly believeable. But this is not why my night was so awful. Oh no, the honour of that goes to my Hungarian room mate.

So, we have two new Hungarian room mates, both of whom are kinda weird. There's just something odd about both of them, and it has been noted by everybody who is currently living in the flat. Last night Giant Hungarian decided to come to the bar. Cool, great to see our flatmates socialise. Not so great seeing them drunk, attempt to get Josh to "be straight" and then to hear he has said, despite having a girlfriend, "he was girls" [or something to that effect, either way not good at all]. We go up to dance in the tradition of Barabend and as I dance, Giant grabs me and pulls me toward him. In front of a bar full of people when my, well whatever Baker is, was there, with Josh there. It was horrible. I was most surprised by the sheer strength of his grip on me. Not to sound like a slut, but from all the men I have been with, his grip tops the list of strength. I am surprised I don't actually have brusies on my hips from where he grabbed me. I managed to get away and Josh had words with him that I have someone. Just five minutes later, he did it again, only this time kissed my neck. I instantly pulled away and ran to Baker to tell him what he had done. He was angry and wanted to speak to him but I explained Josh was doing that now. An hour or so later, back up dancing this time with one of the many members of Edeka and Josh, Giant comes back and pulls me again. This time his hand attempts to move down into my jeans. I was so glad that Josh was there to pull him away again. I immediately grabbed Josh, after realising Baker had left, to tell him what he had done. It freaked me out, but it wasn't until much later the full extent to what he tried to do hit me. I felt awful, but so angry Baker had just left without so much as a goodbye. I needed him then and he wasn't there. This led to me angrily/panickingly texting him to say what happened and that I could've done with him right then and there. [I got a reply this morning - he had passed out in his bathroom. Considering having a go at him, but then considering not to aswell] Josh tried so many times to get Giant back to our flat, it was unreal. Giant even apparently tried to undress another girl on the dancefloor and everyone was baying (sp?) for his blood by the end of the night. When Josh eventually got him to come back up, Italianer had to help too. Josh said if he had pissed about any further, Italianer would have decked him. Josh and I then spent the next 30 minutes or so dissecting the night, wondering how everything went so wrong.

I also had to deal with jealousy from another angle last night - Frenchie. I was amazed when he decided to tell me Baker was gay when I was waiting for him. When he first realised we were kinda seeing each other, his face was one of pure anger. Last night I was so angry that he felt the need to try and screw things up between me and Baker. He seems to think he owns all the women in this bloody Wohnheim, well it's not the case.

Men. I hope one of you does something to redeem your race as these past few days you have seriously let me down. Bar Josh. But Josh isn't like other men.

Of birthdays, 'borgs and boys

Moin bloggers! Thought I'd do a quick update post with a couple of nice outfits from the past few days, as well as keeping you up to date on happenings in Germany. Firstly, a question to you all. How fair is it to start a relationship with someone, knowing that in just two months you will be leaving their country? I know not many of you will have been in this situation, but it is one I am finding myself in. I know some of you know Tom, but I´d appreciate it if he didn´t know about this. I am not a complete bitch and have hurt him enough already. Anyways, I have met a chap I rather like here. Dresdener was a complete blip, far too much of a pretty boy and self centered. (Apologies for any awful grammar here, changed my keyboard to be in German :P) We shall call this boy, Baker. He is far more me. Geeky, weird sense of humour, pretty in an unusual way. I really like him, problem is part of me feels horribly guilty for starting something up with him so late. I have always liked him, he came across as the silent, nerdy, I-will-surprise-you type, but sadly Dresdener and his games took over. Now, is it wrong to start something up only for me to up and leave? I know I'll be coming back to Hamburg, but long-distance just does not seem to work for me. At all. Opinion please guys. And now for an outfit:

Top - Primark (over ten years old now!)
Shorts - H! by Henry Holland
Cardigan - New Look
Leggings - H&M
Ear-rings - Aladin Center
Nail Polish - Barry M

This funky green outfit was worn to the concert of Spanish music by the Junge Philharmonie Köln played at the beautiful Laeiszhalle. I went with Vivi, her boyfriend Hubertus and her friend Katharina. The concert was most enjoyable, despite having had only four hours sleep and it being in the morning. The night before Vivi had decided she wanted to get mildly pissed due to being majorly pissed at Hubertus. Meh, most enjoyable and got to see Baker be jealous over a Russian.

Anyhoo, tonight myself, Vivi and the Keksemonster went out to celebrate the latter's 26th birthday. We had lovely Korean food, although Vivi said it wasn't true Korean food. We then went to a cafe where I had a coconut milkshake. Needless to say I was in heaven. We had a great time sitting round and talking and it made Keksemonster's day. Annoyingly Vivi has all the good pictures so you will have to make do with my shoddy camera work (no Josh since he's back in England)

Boob tube - New Look [you thought it was a dress didn't you]
Skirt - H&M
Cardigan - New Look
Tights - Marks and Spencers
Bra - Peacocks
Ear-rings - Aladin Center

This is our incredibly tidy kitchen. This place also has the best shelves to do emo self-portraits. I love the high-waist of this skirt and the fact combined with a tucked in t-shirt it looks like a dress.

Shoes - New Look

Best. Shoes. Ever. Nearly four inch heel and I could still run for the train. Impressive. And they rarely hurt my feet.

Bag - Primark
Long, pale-green ring - Six

Just a full body shot so you could see the look as whole, but its a little crappy. Thankfully Vivi has one of my with my coat on so that should be a little better. This is good for seeing my epic night out bag and shiny ring :)

Token emo-shot of me. The other smaller studded ear-rings are from those sets at Primark and eye make-up is from a Front Cover set. I realise I have a major lazy eye in this picture, but meh.

Well, tomorrow I was meant to be going to Lüneborg with my mentor and headteacher. I worried when I still hadn´t heard from Iris, so emailed her to check we were going. Turns out that she hadn´t heard from Konny either. Well, I wasn´t really feeling up to going, really want to do some more work on my essay. Now any excuse would´ve done but I was not expecting to hear that Konny´s father-in-law was in a coma. Man, that hit me a little. It does mean I can go to the library to do work, but I´ll be even more depressed reading about genoicide knowing the reason I am there is due to something so tragic.

As promised....

...a fashion show of new clothes for the lovely Saz. So without further ado

Top - H! by Henry Holland
Jeans - H & M
Jacket/Cardigan - Dorothy Perkins
Slippers - Primani
Headband - Bijoux Brigitte

Gratutious boob shot with detail of the motif



Josh is practicing his model pose. Dressing gown and glasses - Model's Own

Dice detail skirt - H! by Henry Holland

Dressing Gown - Model's Own
Slippers - Far too big for him

Cardigan - H! by Henry Holland
Apparently, this cardigan is a very me thing to wear. However in this outfit, what with it's clashing colours, less face it, I look like our other favourite fashion blogger xoxo

Poppy Mac - H! by Henry Holland

Umbrella - H & M [bought thinking I had lost my geisha one only to find it in the history room at school]

Dress - Debut @ Debenhams
I love love love this dress. It needs pulling up just a tiny bit, but it will be perfect for impending weddings :)

Hoodie - FSA Special
Glasses - need cleaned
Pout - learned from the master

Dress - Ben di Lisi @ Debenhams
This may well be my new favourite dress. Now I need an occassion to wear it

And yet more gratuitous boob

Gratuitous me shot

Hoodie - FSA Special 

Shorts - Bedridden
Slippers - The Big and Tall Boy Store
Brolly - geklaut

In other news, I'm kinda seeing someone, more details will follow as things become a little more concrete. I'm also going to try and update this daily, mostly with WG goings on and outfits of the day me thinks.